4.3.01

Ok, I'm in a better mood today. The weather could be nicer, I could be not working, but still, I don't want to rip little bunny rabbit heads off today.

I was going back through my archives a little and realized that I should probably explain a little about how Stephen King's book, "The Stand" influenced my life. To be quite honest, it was this book that really got me going - Fight Club just made me think more in-depth and let me know I wasn't the only one thinking about such things.

Here's the basic rundown of the plot for The Stand:

Army creates Super Flu as biological weapon. Flu gets out, kills about 90 percent of the world's population. Those few in America that are left seem to find themselves drawn to one of two locations - either Boulder, Colorado or Las Vegas, Nevada. Anyway, big showdown between good and evil, three guesses who wins, and the ending to a book that's over 1,000 pages sort of sucks.

Why the only quick rundown? Well, frankly, the whole Good vs. Evil, God vs. The Devil storyline wasn't what got me thinking; it was the 90 percent of the world's population dying off that got me thinking.

Think about that - no electricity; cars are all over the place, but gasoline is in short supply; you can't just run down to the corner market and buy a gallon of milk because it's all gone bad; no internet; no telephones; no telemarketers (ok, so I guess it's not all bad); no cops; frankly, myself and everyone I know would be dead in a week. And that scares me.

Do I think that we're going to suddenly be wiped out by some biological weapon and I'll be the only guy left within a 50-mile radius? No. But that's not really the point. The point is that we're so reliant on technology that we can't do anything for ourselves anymore. Everything is given to us.

When was the last time you had to make your own clothes? Make your own milk? Kill your dinner? Find clean water? Build a house so you don't freeze?

There are people in the world who could figure out how to do these things. But there are a hell of a lot more people, primarily those who have been born and raised in big cities, who couldn't do any of these things. Their idea of foraging for food is to get up off the couch and walk down to the corner QuikTrip and get a microwave burrito.

It's this reliance and demand of technology to serve our every need that has made us so lazy and unmotivated in this country. You need a table? Don't go out, chop down a tree, split the wood, cut four legs and a top and pound some nails in to hold them all together - just go buy some IKEA shit that's way over-priced for a table that's not even wood.

We don't build anything anymore except for credit card debt. We can't make anything except for fashion decisions. There are no skilled craftsmen anymore. We're all just a bunch of monkeys who put Peg A into Slot B, but don't know and don't care why as long as we get our paycheck.

I know there have always been skilled craftsmen in communities who provide services - cobblers, carpenters, tailors - but people who bought the cobbler's shoes probably knew how to do something else. Maybe one customer was a farmer, who could then sell those crops to the cobbler, possibly in exchange for shoes. There were people who could still DO something, provide a service that was useful to the community. Today we only have people who are useful if they're serving a company - telemarketers, account executives, computer technicians, web designers - who can't do anything that actually serves a purpose. And don't get all bent out of shape if you fall into one of these categories, because I have had everyone of these jobs at one point - remember, I'm trying to make changes in my life. But these jobs and the "skills" associated with them don't really matter when it comes to survival, or really, even making anyone's life better. When was the last time a homeless guy said "Wow. Thanks for knowing HTML."

So how does all this relate to The Stand? We are a society that could not survive without it's electricity, it's telephones, it's cell phones. Can you even imagine what that first week would be like if the only thing we lost was electricity, let alone if an epidemic hit? Mass chaos. Twenty-somethings would be shooting each other over the last bag of Dorito's. Middle-aged women would be gouging each other's eyes out in Wal-Mart over a t-shirt with Stone Cold Steve Austin on the front. The whole country would be thrown into anarchy. However, if people knew how to take care of themselves, these things wouldn't need to happen. Sure, there would be some period of adjustment, but if we lived that way in 1801, we can live that way again in 2001. It doesn't require a cell phone, it doesn't require Tommy Hilfiger jeans - it just requires the right skills.

These things we call "necessities" in life are nothing but luxuries. We can survive without television. We can survive without cell phones. We can survive without Cool Ranch 3D's Doritos. We can survive without knowing what a duvet is (Thank you, Tyler Durden). All we need is water, food, and shelter. Clothes are even considered optional, though I'm sure most people would just as soon not see each other naked. And if we could all just get this through our thick skulls, imagine how much better our lives would be. No more working 80 hour weeks. There would still be crime, but not on the level we have today. No, we wouldn't have that wonderful IKEA desk lamp that cost $80, but instead we'd be able to sit by the fire and read with our kids. Which is worth more?

So what am I doing about it? Well, I'm trying to learn more. I would love to become an apprentice in something. Teach me how to make a chair. Teach me how to blow glass. Teach me how to write. Teach me how to draw. We need skilled people in this world and I'd like to be one of them, instead of the average asshole.

Space Monkey