2.28.01

Well, I was going to talk about movies today, but that's all changed now. Last night on PBS, yes, the channel that used to bring you Sesame Street and 3-2-1 Contact, had a pretty interesting show on Frontline called "The Merchants of Cool" and that was much more interesting to me than telling you about movies you should have already seen.

This show dealt with marketing to teens; especially concentrating on the marketing machine that is MTV and how they always seem to know what kids want. Of course the question is, does MTV provide what kids want, or do kids want because of MTV?

I was especially impressed by the documentary's look at trendsetters such as Insane Clown Posse. ICP is raw, "from the real world music"; none of the over- commercialized crap that's out there. If you are a fan of ICP, its not because someone like MTV told you to listen to them - they don't have videos, they're not on a major record label, they're the anti-Backstreet Boys. That is until some hip marketing professional got wind of their huge, underground following. Now they're signed with a major record label, have appeared on professional wrestling - the ultimate advertisement nowadays - have music videos, are appearing at music festivals, and they even have their own action figures.

However, the part that I was most interested in was the cause and effect on our culture. They spoke briefly about "guilt money" given to kids by parents. "I don't have time to spend with you. So here's my credit card, go buy yourself something." What has happened in this world?

I'm sorry, but if both parents are working 8-5, there is no reason whatsoever they can't be home to spend time with their kids at night. We have one of the strongest economies in the world right now and I know that both parents combined could make enough to take care of one or two kids doing virtually anything. I'm not saying you'll have a 3-story house with an in-ground pool overlooking the valley and a new Jag parked out front, but your kids will be clothed and fed. Hell, I could probably support a child on my own on my salary. Again, we wouldn't be wearing Abercrombie shirts to bed, and that kid had better like tacos and spaghetti, foods that will last you a week if you're moderate, but we'd get by. Most importantly, I'd be home every night shortly after 5:00 to help the kid with his homework or be able to go to his little league game on Saturday instead of working all weekend. There's absolutely no reason that parents can't be there for their kids.

Remember back in the '80's when the " latch-key kids" were such a big deal? It was like a scarlet letter if you were labeled a "latch-key kid". Your parents were horrible people who didn't love you enough to make sure they were home by 3:00 when you got off school. Do we still have " latch- key kids" today? I mean, when was the last time you heard anything about them on the six o'clock news like you would have in 1984? Well, they're still there, it's just that they've become so common anymore we just call them "kids" - and that's not good. What are parents doing that is more important than spending time with their kids?

So kids are nothing but mindless zombies who are only able to define themselves by the items they own, the clothes they wear, and the music that MTV tells them to listen to. Ok, at least we have that down. So how do we change this? Frankly - sadly - I don't think there is any way to change it.

There will always be those kids who don't care what everyone else is wearing or listening to; either because that's just the way they are or, more likely, their parents can't afford or refuse to buy them a $25 white t- shirt that says "A-F" in plain, black letters on the front. But these kids are the exception, not the rule. And they grow up to be the Bill Gates' of the world, so those first 18 years of being "uncool" work out pretty well for them in the long run.

The fire has already been sparked and we're running for the water hose just a little too late. If we really wanted to keep this under control, we would have done something back when kids were called "latch-key kids". But, we thought, "Awww, it's no big deal. It's good. It teaches them responsibility. It teaches them to be independent." What it really meant was "It's good because I can work longer hours, make more money, and I can impress the other soccer Mom's by dropping Johnny off at practice in a shiny new BMW."

The parents of today, who were the latch-key kids of yesterday, have been raised by television just as much as their kids are now. They see success as being what the advertising agencies tell them it is, too - the nice house, the nice ride, and the nice suit. If the parents are no more mature than the 12 year-old, what hope is there?

Since there's nothing we can do without a massive change in social conscience, and we all know how much Americans hate change, what's going to happen? I don't know, but I am scared. I think we can only do what we can in our small part of society - our family. Show your kids how fleeting trends are and that you'll run yourself ragged trying to keep up - it's a race you can't win. Tell your kids they are so much more than the label on the ass of their jeans. Just be a fucking parent like you're supposed to.

Whew! Pretty mean today, huh? Well, this is a very serious subject and something I am very passionate about, so believe me, you'll hear more of the like someday.

Ok, so tomorrow I'll talk about movies. I promise. Really.

Space Monkey