2.21.01

Welcome one and all, to the first installment of "Space Monkey".

So here I am. I'm 26, single, have a decent job, but I just feel like there's something missing. Yeah, everyone's gonna say, "Go get laid, ya fuckin' loser!", but I really don't think that's it, folks, I think it's deeper than that. This "missing feeling" is something I've been thinking about in passing for a while now - years actually. Every once in a while I'd get philosophical about life, but I'd usually end up thinking, "Woah! What if our dreams are reality and reality is really a dream?" and it would stop there. Yeah, that's deep and all, but it doesn't really do me much good in life. So it never really hit me that I NEEDED to think more about these things until that fateful night that I saw Fight Club.

No, I don't mean I needed to get the shit beat out of me by my fellow man (though if that would help, I'd probably be open to it), but I realized I was feeling quite a few of the same things that Jack ("Narrator", whatever you want to call him - I, and most people call him "Jack") was feeling.

Who am I? What defines me? Am I happy? Can I be happier? Why am I numb to life?

These and many questions were not being brought up or, especially, answered by Fight Club, but were merely being reawakened in me and I was looking at them with a whole new perspective. The problem is, by re-examining these questions and trying to answer them, more questions were raised - some I hadn't thought of before. It was while looking to find answers to those questions that even more questions were raised.

At the risk of sounding really cheesy, Space Monkey is sort of like my travel log on my journey to discovery (damn...sounded really cheesy) and I'd like you to come along with me (ugh! that was almost as cheesy!). I'll be writing down all the things that are going through my mind and talking about the things I'm trying to do to find that place in life we call "happiness". This will include writing essays of the way the world is seen through my eyes. I'm not claiming these essays will be ground-breaking, so don't expect to find the next Socrates here, and of course, I'll be asking questions - again, no Socrates. I'm hoping that maybe these are things you're thinking about too and would like someone to bounce ideas off of. So please feel free to email me and we'll, as now only middle-aged white guys who are trying to be "hip" with their kids say, "Get jiggy wit' it". But if I never hear from anyone, at least I'll feel better for getting things down in a form I can re-read and re-think from time to time.

I'm trying to figure out what I want to write as my first " official" entry, so I'll get back in the next day or so.

Your pal: Space Monkey