2.13.02

So where to begin this week…hmmm…oh! I’m anorexic! Yeah, believe it or not, but even at my pudgy weight, I realized this weekend that I have the same mentality towards food right now that an anorexic would. Food=bad. Food=fat. Food=weight. Granted, I’m nowhere near the skinny little rail that Calista Flockhart is, but, you know…ya gotta have goals. And, ya know, no matter what anyone says to me right now about how that outlook on food is unhealthy, I'm not going to listen to them. Why? Because I broke a major barrier this week in my quest for visible ribs and it felt pretty good. Granted, I’m somehow subsisting on a diet of primarily turkey sandwiches, chicken breasts, Tropical Passion Crystal Light, and cinnamon streusel rice cakes, but the important thing is, I am losing weight.

Yet another positive side effect of my anorexia, I’m getting a lot of reading done while I do my three sets of fifteen minutes each on the stationary bike (before doing fifteen more minutes on the elliptical, of course).

First, I read the incredible book “Survivor” by the same guy who wrote Fight Club, Chuck Ican’tspellhislastnameletalonepronounceit. Survivor is the story of the lone survivor of a death cult, a sort of hybrid between the Heaven’s Gate people and the Amish, who is the lone passenger on a plane that is slowly crashing into the Australian Outback. The entire story is how he got to be on that plane and the only reason we’re hearing it is because he’s reciting the whole thing into the plane’s black box recorder. Great book, this guy is rapidly becoming my favorite author out there, and one of the most creative in subtle little ways. For example, the entire book’s pages countdown from 289 to 1, much like the descent of the plane and the countdown of his life. It’s the little things that rule.

Right now I’m reading a book called “A Walk in the Woods” by Somebody Bryson (I’m great at remembering author’s names, aren’t I?). It’s a first-hand account of this guy’s adventures while hiking the 2,200-mile Appalachian Trail. Thus far he’s about halfway and it’s a fun little read with some lines that have actually made me laugh out loud. Granted, no other stationary Olympians (what else would you call someone on a treadmill or Stairmaster?) can hear me laugh out loud thanks to 104.1 The Mall, featuring the greatest hits of the ‘80’s and 90’s assaulting our eardrums at approximately 4,780,157 decibels, so I don’t feel so silly.

Next I plan on reading “Black Dahlia”, a docudrama based on the Black Dahlia case from the 1940’s by James Elroy, author of the book one of my Top 15 movies of all-time, L.A. Confidential, is based upon. I’m pretty excited about that one and am anxious to get started on it. After that, I have no idea what I’ll read. Maybe The Shining…

So, ok, I’ve been reading and exercising, but what else have I been doing? Well, not a whole hell of a lot, frankly. As of yesterday, I had $2.97 in my bank account. Sadly, the mail and my bank travel faster than I thought they did, and a check I wrote Saturday for pizza (my one remaining mortal food sin) came through yesterday and so now I have -$18 and some-odd cents. Luckily, my bank doesn’t bounce checks; they just pay them and charge me a service fee. I love paying $37 for Little Caesar’s, don’t you?

However, this weekend looks to be better. I have a few bills to pay with this paycheck and then I actually get to have a little left over for the first time in awhile. Not enough to have a whole lotta fun, but hopefully a little. So far this weekend I have two things planned: 1) See my favorite movie of 2002 (thus far), The Royal Tenenbaums, before it leaves theaters. 2) See the heavy metal, Satanic, pornographic, offensive band GWAR, who’s legendary stage shows are the only reason I’m going at all. Basically, my philosophy is: everyone should be offended at least once a week; and from what I’ve heard, I’ll be offended enough to last me months. Can’t wait!

Other than being an anorexic reader who loves quirky comedies from the writer-director of Rushmore and Bottle Rocket that likes to be offended, not much else going on. I’m still writing a ton. I’m working on, literally, four stories as we speak, one of which I have to finish up tomorrow for publication Friday on The Boundry. Deadlines rule!

Actually, before I go, I do have one bit of sad news this week. My Dad called me up last night and told me that he’d received a phone call from an uncle on my Mom’s side, the side of the family that is sort of distant from us ever since my Mom’s death. Anyway, this uncle said that one of my cousins, the 23-year old son of my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jim in California, Mark, had been killed. He was apparently at a friend’s apartment, got too drunk and fell from a balcony to his death. I don’t know many details – how high the fall was, whether he died instantly or if he was in the hospital with injuries, that sort of thing – I simply know that a young life was snuffed out far too soon. This kind of tragedy only reinforces in me the idea that life is too short and there’s no good reason our two families can’t make peace. I’ll be sending a card this weekend and most likely calling as well. I hope Mom met him at the pearly gates and is showing him how things work up there.

Sorry to end on a downer, but life’s like that sometimes, ya know? Besides, maybe you’ll go away this week with a better appreciation of those around you. It really can all end just like that, so live it up while you’re here.

Space Monkey X