12.05.01

You're not going to believe this...I actually have something to write about tonight. But, I'm not going to get right to it just yet. No, first a little personal update.

Ya know this GIS class I've been taking since August (I think)? A few weeks ago I randomly decided it was time I throw my hat into the GIS job ring. Went to Monster.com and our local online classified ads and found two prospects. Worked up a resume, let it pass through the hands of a few friends - one who gave a critique, but said it was good overall, another who said it completely sucked and I should just start over. Well, I made some changes based on both their helpful suggestions and sent off the resumes. Oddly enough, one of the companies called back. You can guarantee I'll keep you updated on this. Hell, maybe I won't even get an interview...

There's been a recent explosion of "uncut, uncensored" television. The first real boundary breaker was our little rascally buddies over at South Park who had "The Shit Episode". Then Victoria's Secret caused quite an uproar because people saw *gasp* scantily clad women on a lingerie show. I believe it was ABC again who pushed the envelope by showing an uncensored Saving Private Ryan, including the bloody D-Day assault and numerous uses of the notorious "FUBAR" in it's un-acronymed version. Finally, over the last two nights, the Big Lots of cable stations, TNN has been showing two of the greatest films in modern history, The Godfather and The Godfather II - including all the F-words and Moe Green's bleeding eyeball.

As a film buff and, obviously one who does not shy away from curse words and accessive amounts of Hollywood violence, you might expect me to be clapping my hands with joy that the networks have decided to take these huge stands in First Amendment freedoms. In fact, I'm pretty disgusted by the networks for pulling these stunts.

South Park can say "shit" all it wants; I could care less. To me, it's the same as "crap", "dookie", "poop", or, in my opinion, it's much more offensive cousin, "turd". Shit means shit to me. All it is is another word for the same thing. Get over it.

Victoria's Secret - c'mon, people. Again, a lingerie show featuring some of the most beautiful women on the planet; what were people honestly expecting from this? Get a life.

Now the movies…now we're getting somewhere that's a little tricky for me. I feel that if you're going to show a movie on basic network or cable television, there's no need to have the swear words and all the violence. Go ahead and edit these scenes, redub whatever you want - I could give a dookie (see above) - and frankly, I don't think the directors or actors really care either. Why?

First, Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore, Matt Damon, the man with the coolest name in recorded history, Vin Diesel, and everyone else in that movie is getting paid whether it's being shown in it's uncut form or whether you excise every scene that depicts violence, cursing or casts a negative light on Germans - leaving the scene in the church where Tom Hanks and Tom Sizemore discuss the 98 men who have died under Hanks' command, followed by 110 minutes of commercials. They're getting paid either way, so why should they care?

Two, with the almost 100% penetration of the VCR into America's homes (except for this one friend of mine who's VCR was stolen and he's too lazy or broke to buy a new one), if America wants to see a movie they didn't catch in the theaters, they'll just go rent it and watch it at their convenience - instead of when ABC decides to run it and without the commercials.

Finally, three little letters - H. B. O.

Movies on TV don't mean poop (see above) anymore. It's not a huge event now when The Wizard of Oz is on TV like it was back in 1982. If I want to watch the flying monkeys and scare the crap (see above) outta my sister, all I have to do is go rent the DVD from Blockbuster. Or I’ll shell out twenty whopping bucks and I can scare the hell outta my sister with the flying monkeys anytime I want, cuz I'll own the damn movie.

Ok, besides all the pissy arguments from a film buff - why is this a big deal that they're saying the F-word on ABC? It really has nothing to do with the F-word itself. It has to do with why they've resorted to the F-word.

They say (and I'm paraphrasing here): Swearing is the only tool of the ignorant. If you have nothing better to say, throw a bunch of "shit" and "god damns" at it and you'll muscle your point through. So, yeah, that makes me one ignorant bastard because I love to throw curse words at problems and people. But when television resorts to this, what does that tell you? They have nothing else left to say that's worth a damn (see? There I go again). This is their last resort to get you to watch.

They can't come up with anything that's as entertaining as the movies you rent from Blockbuster; or the websites you surf; or the Playstation 2 games you play while listening to Slipknot; or the new bestseller from Stephen King.

They're dying here, folks, because they know they're producing crap. Their last ditch effort is to try to lure you in with the promise of the one thing we all crave in this life - sin - and worst of all, they're trying to send you to hell with a new sweater from The Gap.

Space Monkey X