11.07.01

When trying to figure out what I was going to write this week, I came to the realization that, well, there was really nothing I wanted to write about this week. I’m just too damn busy dealing with life right now to be boring you with more rhetoric on consumerism and religion. However, I’ve committed myself to writing something once a week, so I figured I’d fill you in on just what’s been running me so ragged.

First of all, my primary, number one, “shit, I have to figure out what I’m going to do” situation is my job. As you know, I’ve been taking courses in GIS (Geographic Information Systems) and I really feel like it’s my career path. After all these years of screwing around, jumping from job to job, path to path, I think I might have finally found something worth working on. GIS is just an amazing technology and field to me. I can see so many possible uses for it it’s not even funny. So I’ve been working my ass off to learn the ropes – I’m taking a class at the local community college and even paying for online courses directly from the manufacturer of the leading software with my own money; just so I can learn as much as possible, as quickly as possible, so I can get into this field. But dammit, if the rumors I’d been hearing about me being able to move into the GIS department here at work are just not shaping up to be true. So, I figured I’d do some applying around town. Wish me luck. However, this also coincides with number two on my “oh shit” list. Where am I gonna live?

For the last year I’ve been living with a friend of mine who was so gracious to welcome me into his home when he helped me get a job down here in the St. Louis area. Although things might not have worked out exactly as we’d hoped on the job front, I still feel indebted to him for the help. However, I have this overwhelming urge to be on my own again; to have my own place where I can do what I want, when I want. Selfish, I know, but I’m a very independent person (please read my entry from a few weeks ago for further proof.) So, I’ve been looking around at apartments in town. I thought I had found the spot; in the same apartment complex I’m already living in no less, making my move really easy. However, I waited too long and now there are no apartments available in my price range until mid-January. Of course our lease is up at the end of December. So now I’m looking around and finding some decent places, but what happens if I get lucky and someone hires me for a GIS position? I’d much rather be living somewhere else if I’m not working in this shitty little suburb - so do I wait for the job offers to come pouring in and then find an apartment? Or do I go ahead and lock myself into another one-year lease that would give me a long morning commute if one of the jobs came through? But if I’m still working where I am and I’ve waited too long, I might be sleeping in my car until mid-January when that apartment opens up. Now my current roommate has already told me that if that situation came about that I’d have a place to stay with him if I wanted. And I might be a stubborn son of a bitch sometimes, but I’m not a stupid one. So, don’t worry, I won’t really be sleeping in my car, but at the same time, I really don’t want to impose on him any more than I already have.

As if that weren’t enough, I’m really chomping at the bit to work on some writing. I have two solid, solid ideas for stories that I really want to get rolling on, but between surfing monster.com, apartmentguide.com and going to classes, I just haven’t been able to devote any time to them – and it’s really starting to get frustrating. I think this weekend I’m really going to sit down and kick their asses. At the very least I’ll get some plot outlines worked out to make life easier. But then again, who knows what the weekend holds. Hell, I usually don’t know what I’m doing that night until I actually find myself doing it. Between all the stresses of being an adult, I’m trying to be creative, too, and it just ain’t happenin’.

There you have it. That’s me in a nutshell (please no Austin Powers jokes). I’m not freaking out about anthrax in my Publisher’s Clearing House envelope, I’m not freaking out about “where is God in this world?” – I’m freaking out about three of the most basic things in adult life – Where am I going to work? Where am I going to live? When can I find time for myself?

Life was a lot easier when all I had to worry about was having the right toys in the bathtub. But then again, I couldn't drown my sorrows in alcohol then either. Jaegermeister...take me away!

Space Monkey X