Bolt
Bolt is the canine co-star of an action/adventure TV show about a dog with super powers that has been tasked with protecting a scientist’s young daughter (who also happens to be Bolt’s real-life owner). The thing is: Bolt doesn’t know it’s a show. The little dog actually thinks he can run faster than a speeding bullet, jump higher than a skyscraper, and has a “super bark” that acts like a sonic boom to take out the bad guys. So when he accidentally escapes from the L.A. studio and inadvertently gets shipped to New York City, he’s in for a big surprise as he tries to survive in the real world. With the help of Mittens, a stray cat, and Rhino, a hamster in a plastic exercise ball, Bolt travels across the country to get back to his owner.
One odd thing I noticed about the movie: it’s a mash-up of Toy Story and Toy Story 2. Both films feature a deranged person who thinks he’s a real superhero (Buzz/Bolt); a grounded partner who keeps trying to convince him he’s not super (Woody/Mittens); cute sidekick (there were a bunch of them in the TS movies/Rhino); cynical character who has been scorned so doesn’t think love really exists (Jessie/Mittens); and a crazy adventure to get back to the owner. This doesn’t necessarily detract from Bolt; it was just a strange little observation I had about halfway through.
Anyway, the film is a lot of fun with some good characters that will please kids and adults alike. There’s nothing groundbreaking, but it’s a solid little film. I’d love to see some direct-to-DVD spin-off cartoons of the actual Bolt TV show – it looked really cool.
3 / 5 bananas
Old Boy
Watching Old Boy is a visceral experience. You can’t just passively sit back and watch. You have to think about things. You have to consider the motivations of the characters. You have to put yourself in their shoes from time to time. You have to ask yourself if their actions are justified, blown out of proportion, reasonable or utterly insane. The answers are going to be different for everyone and, really, that’s what makes the film so riveting.
The story begins with Oh Dae-su held captive in a hotel room. He is fed through a slot in the solitary door to the room, has no human contact, no idea why he’s being held, and his only ways to pass the time are to write in a notebook or watch TV. Oh is kept in that one room for 15 years. When he is finally released, his only thought is to track down and kill the man who imprisoned him. And who could blame him, really?
Essentially the film is a modern retelling of The Count of Monte Cristo, but with a few disturbing twists along the way. And while the story is engaging, the real reason to watch Old Boy is the direction. Chan-wook Park outdoes himself with this one, capturing the insanity of solitary confinement, but also conveying the thrill we all get from a well-staged action sequence (of course I’m referring to the infamous “hallway” scene). However, one of my favorite scenes is when Oh is “following” his younger self through his old high school. It’s such a nicely shot and edited sequence – and feels so natural – that it’s often overlooked compared to some of the flashier moments in the film.
Old Boy is very difficult to explain. And trying to explain it too in-depth might only turn off viewers who would imagine worse than what is actually presented on-screen. Because, despite its violent story, compared to what someone like Japan’s prolific genius sicko Takashi Miike would have done with the material, it’s actually somewhat tame. Much of the violence is implied or off-screen, but perhaps that’s what makes it such a tough, wonderful film.
If you think you can handle it, I highly recommend Old Boy.
4.5 / 5 bananas
Battlestar Galactica: Season 1
I’ll be the first to admit that when I heard the words “A SciFi Original Series”, I immediately wrote off the new Battlestar Galactica. With the channel’s track record for poor quality, who could blame me? And while I will say BSG is better than anything I’ve ever seen come out of the channel’s production house, I still don’t feel like it’s the end-all, be-all that fans (or the UN, apparently) claim it to be.
One thing I have to admit – and this going to get me crucified by the fanboys – is that part of me doesn’t like the world that’s been created. Before you get out the hammer and nails, I have no problem with the “no laser guns” aspect; for whatever reason I can look past that. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen it done before. Or, maybe it’s because in my brain, when I watch, they are laser guns. I don’t know, but for some reason that is a non-issue for me and I can’t completely explain why. What I don’t like are the other aspects of the world.
For one, the inconsistent, illogical mix of technologies bugs me. They’ve figured out faster-than-light travel and built their own robot race that has since advanced to the point it becomes self-aware and rebels, but cordless phones are beyond Caprica’s grasp?
And I know I’ve been Twittering about it since the first episode, but every…piece…of…paper – be it a playing card or an executive order – is an octagon? It feels so artificial and arbitrary. It’s like the producers said, “This place is too similar to our own world. What can we do to shake things up? Paper!”
Don’t get me started on the idea that our modern technology/culture/language on the other side of the universe so closely mirrors their technology/culture/language despite the fact that we have such a wide range of differences between just simple countries here. Apparently we’re somehow developing concepts, arts, and some technology in parallel with the people of Caprica, which seems really uncanny when you think about it. I’m still not sure how that works.
I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re building a futuristic, alien culture, then do it. Don’t just make a show and say it’s in space. You can still make all of the political parallels, the social commentary, and the hard-hitting drama that the show is known for, but do it with a world that isn’t such a thinly veiled version of our own. It’s like a kid putting a colander on his head, running around with an egg beater, and saying he’s a spaceman. If the original Star Trek could create a world so different, yet so familiar to our own, on the budget those folks had, any modern show can do the same.
Really, I should have known I was going to have a problem with this part of the show when I first heard “frak” used somewhere on the internet. It rings so false and always seemed like such a lazy way of trying to differentiate our world and the world of BSG. I roll my eyes every time someone says it on the show and outright laugh whenever it’s said in the heat of a dramatic moment. I can’t believe the actors feel very distinguished saying it, either.
To further justify the fanboy contract on my life, some of the episodes have felt like bad video game cut scenes to me. The worst culprit was the one where Starbuck is out training new pilots. Honestly, I almost gave up on the show after the first of the two-part episode. After the Vipers were launched out of the bay, I half expected the view to switch to first-person and I’d be in control of the ship, with Starbuck barking over the radio telling me how to do a barrel roll by moving my joystick to the right and left. And then, the clichéd Cylon attack on the new, green recruits, despite the fact that we haven’t seen hide nor hair of the bad guys the entire episode, really pushed me over the edge. As soon as they cut to the Cylon’s appearing from hyperspace (or whatever it’s called here), I once again thought the view would switch to first-person and I’d have to shoot down as many Cylon Raiders as I could despite being a rookie myself. Oh no!
There have been quite a few “video game moments” for me during the show thus far, almost to the point I have to wonder if they’re intentional. If they are, bully for the producers for tapping into their target audience’s narrative comfort zone. If they aren’t intentional, gimme a D-Pad, the Komani code, and let me press A to skip the cut scene and go right to the action.
Have I mentioned the four intros the show has?
1) The backstory intro (Humans created Cylons, who then rebelled, blew up Caprica, and now the BSG is trying to find a new home). This is the second-least important intro.
2) The “Previously On BSG” intro (Where we see what happened before that will be relevant this episode). Ok, fair enough. A lot of shows do this and with something narratively rich, it makes sense.
3) There are a few minutes of the current episode, which usually leaves us hanging at some important moment. Once again, pretty normal, and this is generally our first commercial break.
4) The inexplicable series of quick cuts showing events that take place in the episode we’re about to watch! Hey, here’s an idea? How about you just show us the episode? Then we’ll get to see all of these events anyway! Novel, I know.
By the time all of these intros play out, I think there are only about 20 minutes left of the show.
Finally, as the fanboy hit squads make their way to my home, I hated Starbuck in the beginning. Once again, talk about a cliché we’ve seen a million times – a hard-drinkin’, cigar-chompin’, hard-fightin’, take-no-shit-from-the-guys female warrior? Thanks Vasquez, Ripley, Sarah Conner, and just about every other woman starring in a James Cameron film. However, that being said, she has grown on me as her character has been able to show some emotion and vulnerability. I understand they had to establish her tough guy persona, but I felt it lingered a little long.
The other characters are really hit or miss with me. Adama is great, but I think that’s mainly due to the man playing him. Olmos plays the Capitan with a sense of disconnect that I find pitch-perfect for a man in his position. Again, the commander who has a love/hate relationship with his military son is a bit played out, but those plotlines generally don’t concern me. That being said, I do like Adama’s son, Apollo, and his weekly crisis of conscience, wavering between his father and madam President. But once he sits in a cockpit I lose interest. The grizzled old drunk, Tigh, has his moments, but for the most part he seems too milquetoast for command. Maybe that’s the point, but I also haven’t seen much in his actions that would inspire such a great friendship between him and Adama. I’m still trying to figure out Gaius – is he always running around like a squirrel on a meth high, or is he just mentally breaking down thanks to visions of a hot Cylon that no one else can see and carrying the guilt from bringing about the apocalypse? Personally, I don’t care how brilliant the guy is, I’d have a hard time putting my trust in someone who acts so erratic, yet he’s the f’ing (not “fraking”) Vice President now. Maybe we’re supposed to be rooting for the Cylons to take these idiots out. Now that would make for an interesting TV show.
Ok, so now that I’m the flame topic of every BSG message board, let me say that the first season ended with a bang. Somewhere between episodes six and eight – the suicide bomber and the captured Cylon’s interrogation – the story finally came together for me. To me, the series doesn’t start until episode six; everything before that is typical, shoddy SciFi Channel crap. That’s not to say that every episode since has been riveting television, but I’m willing to consciously look past the annoying aspects of the show to see the gems underneath. And there are plenty of gems – from the sleeper cell Cylons, to the Helo adventure, to this latest bizarre twist as the President starts to have religious visions – BSG has become a show that I’m at least interested in seeing where it goes. I’m still treading cautiously, but I’m definitely giving it a chance despite what I consider many shortcomings.
And so, I can honestly say that I’m looking forward to season 2 arriving in the mail any day now from Netflix. Hopefully the interesting part of the show – the parallels concerning our post-9/11 world – will outshine the lack of cordless phones for me from here on out.
3 / 5 bananas
Chocolate
Oh, what a silly, silly little martial arts film. I don’t even really know where to begin with this one. Zen is a little girl, born with mental deficiencies, but gifted with lightning quick reflexes and the ability to watch a physical act once and replicate it perfectly. So naturally she spends her time watching Thai martial arts films and earning a few bucks as a street performer, catching balls that people in the crowd throw at her head. When her mother, Zin, a former enforcer for a Thai gangster, falls ill, Zen and her adopted brother go visit all the people who owe mother money and try to get paid. These underground businessmen don’t want to give up the cash, so a whole lot of nameless henchmen get kicked, punched, and thrown off/into things. All the while, Zin’s former boss, a jealous man still upset that she didn’t choose to have a baby with him those many years ago, is trying to locate Zin and Zen in some kind of weird revenge plot (this part of the story is never made completely clear).
While many of the fight scenes are fun, often the choreography is a bit stiff and doesn’t flow nearly as quickly as it feels like it should. There are a few good moments, especially of slow-mo goodness that show some stuntman catching a flying knee to the chest, but for the most part the fights seem amateurish. Again, there are moments that shine, but the scenes are rarely as inventive or polished as any of the stuff coming from Hong Kong 20-30 years ago.
That being said, the final action sequence, which feels like an old school Nintendo game, is a blast and really showcases some of the excellent stunt work that was done for the film. It’s worth watching for this scene alone (or just find it on YouTube, I guess).
The rest of the film is laughable, especially the acting by just about all involved. To borrow a phrase from Tropic Thunder, the actress who plays Zen, Jeeja Yanin, doesn’t quite take Zen to “full retard”, but it’s pretty darn close. Everyone else is either chewing scenery or so stilted they just don’t work at all.
One thing I found especially interesting was the influence of the films Kill Bill 1 & 2 on Chocolate. The Thai gangster hunting down Zen and Zin is dressed similarly to Bill and he even has that sort of cool, calm thing going for him that David Carradine did so well. He seems to be looking for Zin in particular, if for no other reason but to restore his manhood after she wound up marrying a member of the Japanese yakuza instead of him. There are quite a few similarities throughout the rest of the film, but one of the final fight scenes is pretty much a direct rip-off of Kill Bill – the big fight scene with the Crazy 88′s in the House of Blue Leaves. Giving the characters plenty of room to run around and kill one another with katanas, the scene takes place inside a large, open room just like the hideout of the 88′s. It’s so similar, there’s simply no way it’s coincidence. Long story short, I find it fascinating to see that an American film that was influenced by Asian films is now influencing an Asian film. Things have truly come full circle.
In the end, I can’t really recommend Chocolate. If you decide to give it a try, feel free to fast-forward through the “plot” scenes and just watch the fights. They’re not great, but they’re pretty fun, and will make your time spent that much more enjoyable. But do stick around for the big fight (which includes the House of Blue Leaves-inspired sequence) and the final scene outside. And definitely watch the stunt men getting hurt while the credits roll. It seems in Thailand, all injuries, no matter how severe, are treated by putting an ice pack on the affected area. Good luck with that, fellas.
2 / 5 bananas
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