It’s been forever since I’ve done one of these updates. Mainly because I’ve been watching TV on DVD more than anything else since the beginning of the summer. That’s not to say I haven’t seen a few movies, but being able to sit for 2 hours in a stretch is getting to be uncommon in my life. That being said, I’m sure that this list will be anything but complete as I can barely remember what I watched last week, let alone since my last update.

The Happening
Wow. I rented this one as a morbid curiosity – I had to know if it was as bad as everyone said. Well, I was definitely not disappointed. The film is so ineffective. There’s no mystery. There’s no tension. There’s no horror. The scenes that are supposed to be horrific – the man feeding himself to the lions, the guy lying down in front of the lawn mower, etc. – are laughable because they have no weight whatsoever. And they’re so ridiculous you simply can’t take them seriously. Actually, the lion one had me laughing because Shyamalan chose to display the video on someone’s iPhone. Shyamalan’s attempt to be relevant by showing the video – in crystal clear, HD quality, despite it supposedly being a video sent to the person’s phone from another cell phone – came off as so heavy-handed I was reminded of 3-D movies where things are constantly coming at the screen to give the audience their 3-D money’s worth. It felt so stagey and desperate; like a little kid saying, “Look at me! I’m using an iPhone in my movie! I’m so edgy!” The movie is just sad on so many levels, but none of them emotional. I can honestly say that I was fed up with it about halfway through and just wanted it to be over. Oh, and thanks to SNL, every time Mark Wahlberg spoke, it sounded like he was talking to animals.
1 / 5 bananas

The Incredible Hulk
I have no love for the Hulk. I didn’t really care much about Ang Lee’s film; the comic book never did anything for me; I never even really liked the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferrigno version on TV when I was a kid. I just don’t care about a guy who grows big, strong, and green when he gets pissed. There’s nothing there for me. Which is why I went into the new film with a very “meh” attitude. And I pretty much felt that way after it was over, too. You get what you expect – big, green guy smashes a lot of shit. And they needed Edward Norton for this? As for my anti-Hulk stance, it remains. Go in expecting nothing and you’ll probably have a good time.
2.5 / 5 bananas

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Not much to say about this one, really. It’s cute, it’s funny, the usual gang of Apatow players are excellent. It sort of runs out of steam in the 3rd reel, but the good moments that come before are worth a rental.
2.5 / 5 bananas

Run, Fat Boy, Run
I like Simon Pegg, star of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and the British TV series, Spaced. I think he has a certain quality that allows him to drift back and forth between goofy and smart comedy that is rare nowadays. This little movie has some great Pegg moments, but in the end is too cliched to be memorable. Oddly, it reminded me a lot of Mr. Mom, starring Michael Keaton. Weird. It just occurred to me how similar the two movies really are. Interesting. Well, if that’s the case, I prefer Mr. Mom, if for no other reason but the lines: “What you use – a .38?” “.38, .39…whatever it took.”

The Fall
Unlike Roger Ebert, I didn’t really like The Cell. Now, granted, I haven’t seen it in years, but I remember feeling like the director, Tarsem, shot the film, and especially it’s “inside the mind of a serial killer” scenes, like a kid who just received a slo-mo camera for Christmas. The technique was used gratuitously and it gave the whole film an air of pretentiousness. I do remember, though, thinking the costume and set design made up for the annoying direction. I have to say, after watching The Fall, Tarsem’s latest, I might have to check out The Cell again. Tarsem’s thing is imagery. Story seems to take a backseat to the visuals and on some level I can appreciate that. The Fall takes place in two worlds – the reality of 1920′s California and in the mystical world of a fairytale being told to a little girl. For me, the 1920′s story was boring, overlong, and, in the end, fairly worthless. But I’d watch an entire 3-hour epic that took place in the world of the fairytale. The scenery is shot so beautifully and with such concern for blocking and composition that I sometimes paused the DVD just to look at them. Visually the film is amazing. Storywise, I was seriously tempted to fast foward through the 1920′s.
3 / 5 bananas

Colossus: The Forbin Project
The USA creates a super secret super computer in a mountain bunker in Colorado. The computer is supposed to take over the nation’s defense capabilities, eliminating human emotion from the equation for the betterment of mankind. Sadly, things don’t work out quite the way they expected. You see, the Russians also have a super secret super computer that was built for the same reason. Not a big deal except that these two systems find one another and join together to turn against their human overlords, holding the superpowers hostage with their own nuclear warheads. While I found the whole thing interesting, especially all of the philosophical quandaries that are presented, it’s the ending that sticks with you after you watch it. It is so utterly perfect I smile just thinking about it.
4 / 5 bananas

The Isle
Now this is one movie I will not soon forget. It takes place at a secluded lake resort where the men guests get their own floating shack to fish, drink, and screw the local prostitutes to their heart’s desire. Sometimes the beautiful, silent proprietor of the resort sells herself to her patrons as well, taking no joy in her extra services. That is until she meets the protagonist, whom she is inexplicably drawn to. Some very disturbing things occur after these two become intertwined. These things involve fish hooks and very sensitive body parts. But the nasty moments are not the only ones that are unforgettable in this film. If you think you can handle seeing degradation and self-inflicted violence rolled inside a love story, make sure you track down this amazing Korean film.
4 / 5 bananas

The Dark Knight
I’m not going to say anything about this one that hasn’t already been said, so I won’t go on too long. I’ll just say that it’s a real shame we lost Heath Ledger, who was simply amazing here. An improvement over Batman Begins and definitely set the bar that other superhero movies will need to reach if they ever want to be taken seriously.
4 / 5 bananas

I’m sure there are other morbid curiosity movies that I’ve rented since June, but they must not have been too memorable. Here’s hoping I see some more this Fall that will make me want to write about them here.

I started working for the City of O’Fallon on December 18, 2000. Over the last eight years, there have been quite a few ups and downs. Now, in my last week of employment, I’d like to take a few moments to reflect on my time here. I won’t dig any skeletons out of the closet. I won’t burn any bridges. But these are the things I’ll remember and people who have influenced me during my tenure as an employee.

One of my first supervisors was Greg, ex-military/ex-cop. He only had a year or so before he retired, so he got assigned the cop’s worst nightmare: a desk job. At first Greg and I didn’t get along too well, but eventually he realized that I wasn’t a dipshit; I just didn’t want to be working in Code Enforcement. And I soon realized he didn’t want to be there anymore than I did, which is why he came off a bit gruff at first. The main thing I learned from Greg was that sometimes you just have to take the crap your employer hands out. It’s usually a temporary situation and if it’s not, you have to decide if it’s worth it to stay. You’ll find that 99% of the time, something you blow up about now will become no big deal at all tomorrow. And if you find that over time you simply can’t stand the situation, that’s when you get out.

Greg was also very helpful by letting let me work on GIS stuff. I was able to take an afternoon class at the local community college during work hours, as well as help the GIS Department (and my eventual boss) a couple of hours during the week. He knew that Code Enforcement was not where I wanted to be and, perhaps more importantly, knew that I was capable of more. His support allowed me to get where I am today.

Greg’s retirement plans were to move to Boulder, CO. I have no idea if that’s where he ended up, but I hope so.

After Greg left, my new boss was Jim, another ex-cop who was looking for a job that would allow him more time at home with his wife and kids. Jim was the first boss I’ve ever had that I could tell, “I’m applying for a job at [insert company name here]” and he’d always say I could put him down as a reference. He knew even more than Greg that I wanted out of Code Enforcement. It got even worse when our new department head (I’ll be getting to him in a moment), began making our department do more building inspection-related activities. I could see my future in front of me as a building inspector and I really began to get desperate to get out. Thankfully a GIS position opened up at the City and I was able to leave in the nick of time – I was supposed to go to a building inspector conference the next week.

The main memory I have of Jim was when Andrea and I had our stairs collapse at the apartment we lived in. We fell about 5 or 6 feet, but thankfully we were relatively unharmed. Jim was the first person on the scene after I called-in to tell him I probably wouldn’t be coming to work that day. Before the day was up the entire complex was swimming with City building inspectors who shut down more than one apartment where the stairs and/or balconies were not up to code (I’m sure in the apartment owners’ eyes this couldn’t have happened to a worse person than an employee in the City’s building safety department). But it was Jim who left his office immediately to come out and make sure we were ok and to start the official investigation into the situation. He was there when I needed him and was incredibly accommodating as Andrea and I went to the local Urgent Care to get checked out.

Jim is still with the City, working in the same capacity. He’s a good guy and one of the folks I’m going to miss around here. Even if he is a Cardinal’s fan.

Now as I mentioned, while working for Jim, our department was being integrated into the core of the Building Safety Division, which would mean we’d have to start learning building codes so that we could inspect decks, basements, swimming pools, etc. I just didn’t feel that that was a good use of my computer skills and knowledge, so I was doing everything I could to find a new job. The new department head, whom we’ll call Wario (the only Italian villain I could think of that wasn’t too offensive), was making me want to leave even more than the eventual job as a building inspector.

Wario had something against me from Day One. I’ve never been one to be all paranoid about saying someone is out to get me, so I’m not making this up. The list of things he did to me are quite long:

- He made me stop working for GIS.
- He made me stop doing website stuff for the Community Development Department.
- He wouldn’t let me take a 30 minute lunch and leave at 4:30 two days out of the week so that I could get to my college courses in time. This meant I couldn’t take any class that started before 6:30, which meant I was very limited on the classes I could take. His responses: “I could make it in time.” and “I never went to college and look where I am.”
- He reprimanded me because I took 10 minutes to look over a paper I had written for an English class. He walked in and saw it on my screen and flipped.
- After the “English paper incident”, he made me move my desk closer to Jim’s so Jim could “keep an eye on me”. He also shut off my internet access, meaning I couldn’t even do a major part of my job, which was to look up property owner information from the county’s website. Then, he had IT bring up written proof that I was somehow hacking the system and surfing the web anyway. Jim took one look at the print out and noticed that the date on the log was before my web access had been shut off. Wario never even apologized.

Seriously, this guy was trying to make me quit or get me fired. Why, I still have no idea. Part of me thinks he knew I didn’t want to be there and wanted to replace me with someone who did. Part of me wonders if he just wanted to put me in my place because I felt I was better than the job I was doing (more on that later). I don’t know what the deal with Wario was, but we clashed horns often. Even when I thought I had done something right, he found a way to turn it around on me and make it a negative. He was more than happy to get rid of me when the GIS job opened up.

I wasn’t the only person he was after, either. The number of resignations in that department nearly reached the double-digits. Another person transferred after he denied her two raises. He called people into his office and berated them on a semi-daily basis. He earned his nickname of “The Little Dictator”, or, more succinctly and more commonly, just “Little Dick”.

My lasting memory of Wario, though, will be the day I was walking out to my car for lunch. I was already in GIS at this point, so no longer had to deal with him at all, really. He was a little ways in front of me carrying a banker’s box. Our department manager was walking beside him. I saw them go to Wario’s take-home City vehicle and put a few things in the box. I found the whole thing odd and went to lunch wondering what that was all about. Only after I’d returned from my break did I learn that Wario had been fired amidst allegations of scandal. It was one of the most vindicating moments of my entire life, and yet, I sort of felt bad for him. He was a tyrant whose comeuppance finally came, but at the same time he was a family man who was now unemployed; I couldn’t feel good about that. It was a really bittersweet moment for me.

Despite the horrid reign of Wario, I learned a lot from having him as a boss. The main thing he taught me was humility. Some might say he went about it the wrong way by acting like an ahole, but whatever his methods I learned the lesson. Looking back, I was arrogant and had no reason to be. If I was such a young hotshot I should have been able to pick up and leave whenever I wanted, but I knew even then that I couldn’t. Instead, I had to learn how to live within his system so that I could keep my job. I evolved so I could survive – a skill I’m sure I’ll use for the rest of my employed life.

That being said, I don’t know, nor really care, whatever happened to Wario. I’ve heard through the grapevine that he’s gainfully employed again, but I don’t know where or doing what. I wish him the best, but I’d be ok if we never crossed paths again, either.

My current boss, Kevin, has been a huge factor in my continued growth as a GIS professional. He has taught me so much over the last three years and has given me a real foothold in this field. I, literally, would not be where I am today were it not for Kevin. For that alone I owe him a debt of gratitude.

Kevin is a fairly quiet guy who is content to come in, do his job, and go home at the end of the day. He doesn’t go out for drinks at 5:00. He doesn’t go to lunch with anyone. He understands that this is a job, not a social circle. He doesn’t stand around and gossip with people about who’s doing what and what so-and-so said. But none of this means he’s a bad guy. In fact, he’s pretty funny, very understanding, and has been a breeze to work for. He just doesn’t use work as his basis for social interaction.

I can’t blame him for that. I’ve never really felt like I fit here, so I haven’t developed too many relationships with people outside of work, either. There are exceptions, of course, but for the most part I keep to myself, do my job, and go home at the end of the day. I think that can sometimes be a good thing to remember – we’re here to work. Sure, the social aspect can be very important, but I think it depends upon the climate and the type of work you’re doing. The reason to stay away from such interactions, though, especially in an environment so politically charged as local government, is that you stay out of the rumor mill and therefore stay out of the way. It’s been a good survival technique and one I’m sure I’ll use again someday.

While I can honestly say that working for the City has, overall, been a good experience, that doesn’t mean that everything has been lollipops and unicorns. There have been bad days, bad people, and bad situations. I don’t think I need to mention again how much I have despised being on snow plow duty. But that being said, it wasn’t a primary factor in my leaving. (It was a minor factor, yes, but not a primary one.) In the end, the good days have outnumbered the bad, and I think that’s all you can ask for out of an eight-year stretch.

With that in mind, I’m leaving because the timing and the opportunity are right. I’ve learned a lot about GIS in the last three years. Sometimes I feel like my head is swelling when I think of how much knowledge I’ve gained since I started in the GIS department. But while here I’ve learned skills that will really only take me in one direction – to another city or county government, which has the same pitfalls and roadblocks that I see here. With this new job I’ll be learning about a whole new industry – electric utilities – that I hope will open some new doors for me in the future.

And so, I bid a fond farewell to the City of O’Fallon, Missouri. My time here has, in the end, been a positive experience. It has given me the means to change my life in quite a few ways. Because of the City I have become who I am today. If I didn’t have this job I wouldn’t have met Andrea, we wouldn’t have bought a house, and we wouldn’t have our wonderful daughter, Harper. I’ll never forget the people and the place that have influenced me so, and I hope I’m able to take what I’ve learned here into the rest of my career.

My latest Mental_Floss article went live today!

Check it out and learn a little something about secessionist movements in U.S. history (aside from that big one in the 1850′s…)

In case you hadn’t heard, I come from Fisher, Illinois, where we have a most unusual high school mascot.

So unusual, in fact, that ESPN thought it would be a good idea to come by for a visit and tell the world about it.

Check out the brief video here to learn more about the Fisher Bunnies!