Last week, Andrea and I ventured north to Chicago to spend a few days shopping, dining, and generally enjoying one another’s company. It’s the closest thing to an official honeymoon we’re going to be able to do thanks to school and work schedules, but I think we had fun nonetheless.

We spent a night downtown enjoying Michigan Avenue despite the downpour of rain that pelted us. We hit the Art Institute the next day. And then spent a couple of days out in Schaumburg near Woodfield Mall, where we assaulted IKEA and bought entirely too much stuff for entirely too little money. We were also able to pick up the bulk of the remaining dishes that we’d registered for at Crate and Barrel thanks to a special deal offered by the hotel we stayed at – a $50 gift card to the mall for every night that you stayed with them. Because we stayed two nights, we received $100 in gift cards, which virtually paid for the entire dish set. Then on Sunday we were happy to see our friends Chris and Cari tie the knot in Joliet at a really nice, old mansion.

We had fun being together and were able to enjoy a little time away from “normal” life. However, this week it’s back to the old grind of work, school, and (for me) more work. To borrow a phrase, the honeymoon’s over.

I’ll post some pictures from our long-weekend getaway when time allows. Most of our pictures were taken at the Art Institute where we ran around like kids in a candy store checking out the artwork. Look for them soon.

One of the main topics of conversation while in Chicago, was whether or not we could live there. Andrea is ready to pack her bags tomorrow and live out of her car if she has to. I, on the other hand, am hesitant.

One of my primary concerns about living in Chicago is the cost of living. I know that, much like St. Louis or any other big city, there are going to be sections that are prohibitively expensive to live in, but out in many of the burbs, things get a little easier. I guess as someone who is just getting started in his career and is already making more than most at his experience level, the concern I have is not being able to make enough to survive up there. I make what I do here because I’ve been here for almost 6 years. Not all of those years were in my current position, but I didn’t take a pay cut to be where I am now, either. If I were to move to Chicago, I might have to take a cut and that idea worries me when the cost of living is so much more up there as it is here. It’s the old “Golden Handcuffs” scenario that we all find ourselves in at one point or another.

Another concern for me is simply a fear of the truly big city (unlike the faux city that is STL). As someone who grew up traveling to Chicago often, it has always symbolized for me the epitome of “the city.” The city moves at a pace so dizzying that I get flustered easily while there, unsure of where I am, where I’m going, or what I’m supposed to be doing. I always feel like everyone is waiting behind me, honking, yelling, and generally wishing I were dead so they could swerve around my corspe and move on with their lives. I’m sure I would get used to how things work there (in fact, I sort of felt that happening already as I headed out to the suburbs during Friday rush hour), but there would definitely be a length of time where I would want to curl up into a ball and cry every time I drove downtown. Not that I would probably have to drive downtown often anyway, since we’d be living in the burbs and I’d take the El train to and from work, but it’s bound to happen from time to time and would definitely take some getting used to. I mean, look where I grew up! There are times when you won’t see another car on the road for miles. And the only traffic jams are during harvest when a combine is moving from one field to the next. Anyone who is used to driving in those conditions would have to be a little freaked out about driving downtown.

Another aspect of my trepidation is the culture shock. I’ve lived in small towns or cities my entire life. In any one of these (Fisher, Charleston, Champaign, O’Fallon/STL), if you’re meeting your buddies for dinner at Hooters and drinks at the local pool hall, you wear your “good” Old Navy jeans, $30 discontinued Nike tennis shoes, and a ratty old t-shirt that doesn’t have too many holes in it. In Chicago, you’re very likely going to be wearing, at the very least, a button-down shirt and stylish dress shoes with your $100 jeans. It’s just a different mindset up there where people are conscious of how they look, what they’re wearing, and the impression they give. I’m not saying this is a bad thing at all, but it’s a different thing than I’m used to. I’m not sure that I have that mindset and I think it would take me a while to gain it. Then again, I think this comes with a certain sense of accomplishment for “making it” up there and also a feeling of wanting to stand out from the immense crowd that surrounds you. In a city where you’re almost completely anonymous, it pays to take control of the one thing you have that makes you stand out – your appearance. Whereas in St. Louis, chances are you went to high school with the bartender at this bar, the waitress at the next bar, and the bouncer at the third place you go that night. That’s because no one ever leaves this hell hole, so why bother dressing up for the same old people night after night? Again, I’m not saying that this outward appearance mindset is a bad thing, it’s just not something I’ve dealt with before in all of these small towns (or at least those towns with small town mentalities) and would definitely take some getting used to.

However, all of these worries seem minor when compared with all of the great things about living in Chicago. The types of people you’d meet is so diverse that the words “melting pot” barely comes close to describing it. The museums, concert venues, restaurants, bars, and other sources of cultural stimulation are overwhelming and varied. The place is just beautiful, with all the architecture from bygone eras and the many parks and public places to explore, there seem to be endless photo opportunities. Of course the economic opportunities are much more plentiful there as well. St. Louis is slowly being resurrected from the grave, but even still there just aren’t that many new businesses popping up downtown. Whereas almost any major company has to have a main Chicago office if they want to survive. Finally, I think it might be nice to disappear for a while. I’ve never really been one who tries to distinguish himself from the pack, but prefers to blend in and observe. And what better place to do that than in a city of 3 million?

So despite my initial qualms, I have a feeling that, when Andrea and I are looking to move in the near future, that we’ll make sure to send some resumes to the Chicago-area. It’s a scary thought for the Country Mouse to move to the Big City, but I’m sure I could get used to it given enough time, effort, and Cubs tickets.

While Andrea and I have felt like we’ve been married for a long time now, little did we know that we were wrong about that. Oddly enough, walking down the aisle, repeating a few phrases, and then throwing a party has really put the zap to our heads. Something has changed from when we were just living in sin to now that we’re legally bound together. It’s not a bad thing, mind you; it’s just a weird thing.

For one, it’s really, really bizarre for either one of us to refer to the other as “my wife” or “my husband”. It’s like this word has been forcibly added to our vocabulary by Big Brother or some other power that be. This weekend I had to say it twice in public and, oddly, it felt like I was name dropping in Hollywood. Something like: “Well, I was hoping to save the rest of this Barnes and Noble gift card for my buddy, Tom Cruise. I think he wanted to use it to buy Donald Trump a gift or something…maybe it was John…Travolta, I mean, of course.”

But why is the word bothering me so much? Because I don’t know what it means to be a husband yet. It’s like being signed as the new starting quarterback for the Chicago Bears and you don’t know how to throw a football. It’s something you’re going to have to figure out how to do if you want to succeed, but what if you don’t live up to the team’s expectations? What if, no matter how much training you do, you’re never very good at it? There are just a lot of unknowns involved here and that’s something that I’m generally not comfortable with. But I suppose it’s something I’m just going to have to get used to and struggle forward blindly. Here’s hoping I’ll figure out how to lead team Lammle to victory.

Wow, that was a horrible sports metaphor. You can tell I’m a little dazed from all the stuff that’s going on in my life right now. I mean, that was just pitiful. Actually, the “being signed as the new starting quarterback” thing wasn’t too bad because it’s entirely accurate. But that ending…whew! Bad. But, you don’t come here for the excellent writing now do you? I didn’t think so.

Well, we leave tonight for Chicago to start our little “mini-moon”, which is a term I loathe with most of my being. I guess technically we leave for Fisher tonight, but then we’re heading up to Chi-town Thursday morning to stay until Monday. So far we’re planning trips to all of the important landmarks: thrift stores on Belmont Avenue, CB2 up in Wrigley-ville, IKEA and Crate and Barrel out at Woodfield Mall, and we’re hoping to squeeze in an early morning self-guided tour of the Art Institute of Chicago. Then on Sunday we drive down to Joliet to see our friends Chris and Cari tie the knot. Monday is going to royally suck as we then have to drive clear across the state of Illinois, back to Missouri. Fun, fun. I’m sure we’ll buy an audiobook from Audible (which is quite possibly my favorite new-to-me website right now) and that will help keep us occupied at least part of the time. That and frequent stops for bathroom breaks and, ironically, more Diet Coke.

On a semi-unrelated note (only semi because it does still pertain to yours truly), I am really looking to get back into writing more. There’s this one project that’s been lingering for about two years now, one I come back to and actually write on every once in a while, but one that I’m often doing research on as recently as last week, and I feel like I might have made a decision in the mechanics of writing it that will help me turn the corner on getting some progress done. I haven’t actually had time to write anything yet, but with all the insanity that has been my life of late, I feel that that is at least understandable. However, things are going to finally begin to calm down a bit after our Chicago trip and here’s hoping I can make writing more of a priority then. I’ll keep you updated on my progress should it develop.

And with that, I will let you go. Check back next week for pictures from Chicago!

Yes, I know, I know…I should have a great big entry here about what’s been going through my head since getting married last Saturday. I have plenty to say, trust me. It’s just that this week has been hellish.

Monday we drove back to STL in the morning, putting us in town around 12:30. I turned around and went down to school and spent the rest of the afternoon studying for my Medieval English Literature mid-term (I got an A on it, by the way).

Tuesday I worked all day, then went to class, then went to the fire department for a little while, finally getting home around 10:00.

Wednesday I worked all day, went to class, and then went home to study for yet another test, this one in my math class. While I was studying I was also working on our computer trying to get rid of some spyware that is being a particular pain in my ass. With all that going on I didn’t get to bed until after 1:00AM.

Today I worked all day, took my math test, and still went to the fire department until 10:00PM. I got to see Andrea for about 30 minutes before I came down stairs and actually relaxed in front of the TV for the first time in what seems like forever. By the way, this week’s episode of Lost was awesome.

Tomorrow we’re going with some friends out for dinner and some fun. Saturday I’m going out for a bachelor party. Sunday…well, Sunday is open at the moment, but I do still have to write a 5-6 page paper sometime before next Wednesday, so I could see that day being occupied as well.

So, you see, I simply haven’t had time (nor will I perhaps for a little while) to write any huge monkey entries about what it’s like to be married. The thoughts are there, the time to lay them down, however, is not.

Look for something soon, but probably not until November.

No, seriously. I’m that busy.

This is a link to the funniest, coolest thing you’ll see all day.

Enjoy!

In about 16 hours, I’ll be getting married. It’s a day I’ve often thought about, not only since Andrea and I began dating, but also for quite some time before when I was a bachelor. It’s not that I dreamt about my wedding day like an 8-year old girl, but getting married has always been something I’ve been more than willing to do. For many years I wondered if it would ever happen. I wondered if I’d find the right girl for me. Finally, I think I have. And I can’t let that slip through my fingers.

A post or two ago I mentioned that I had been wanting to make a change in my life after I got married. Something to mark the transition between the single me and the married me. It’s a long story how I came to this conclusion, but I think I’ve decided what I want that change to be. I want to live with conviction. For years now I feel like I’ve been wandering. Like I’m just sort of here and I go where the winds take me. Sometimes that’s ok, but I’ve realized that I’m happiest when I have a goal and I’m taking steps to get there. At one time it was to work in advertising. At another time in my life it was to become a writer. Now…I don’t know what it is.

But once Andrea and I are married tomorrow, I’ll have a purpose, I’ll have a goal – to make sure that we are happy together. Being happy isn’t something you just do. It’s something you have to work towards. And even once you’ve gotten there, you have to struggle to maintain your ground. I’m sure that’s how marriage will be as we go through the ups and downs of life, but I think if we can both keep that goal in sight, that we can continue to move forward, hand-in-hand.

As I’m sure you can guess, there’s plenty more I can write on this topic. But with tomorrow being kind of a big day for me and all, I should probably hit the sack and get a decent night’s sleep. Perhaps I’ll wander down this path another day.

And so, as my last entry as a single man, I say good night and wish us luck.